I should show grit and tackle my wardrobe next; who knows I may discover a nest of wasps or a colony of red squirrels!
Colder today. I shall muffle and trudge to the library then have an Art Gallery lunch.
Category: Journal
A HYSTERICAL CONCLUSION
Just back from buying my Mariner’s Cap, and photographing this prettyboy singer too.
My newly laundered bed sits pristine and waiting to give me another damp mancold.
Such a very long day.
Baffled
All the financial hoo-hah has been caused by my not telling Town Hall of my pension(s) increase. So it has been backdated thirteen years and my benefits halved! I smile, but it is really insane!
I’m just back from ALDI where I spent £50 to buy food for this the last week in November.
In rainy Market Street, a sweet tall fruity youth in ballcap said, “Ten easy-peelers for a pahnd”. I stopped and bought blueberries and raspberries before having him feel his avocados for “ripeness”. A nasty singer at Bella Italia shrieked “Mistah Bo-Jangles…”
Maximum Peak
My financial drama has reached it’s peak! I must pay £600 in Council Tax (in installments) and my rent increases from £161 to £280 per month. The joke of course is that I’ve only just been surviving on my pension as it is.
The £200 winter fuel will save me until Hoggers.
Meltdown
Entire morning spent comprehending £600 Council Tax arears! The rent drama is another day ahead…
THIRTEEN PAGES!
I’m about to bus into town to walk to RBS with the letter I received from Town Hall. It’s incomprehensible but money is – as usual – at the bottom of the whole thing, and that needs expertise.
I see frost on the Manchester roofs!
ON MY DOORMAT TODAY
My filthy floor exposed with bills from Town Hall. There are thirteen pages of contradictory charges. I shall go to RBS on Monday morning to get all of this sorted out.
My phone range 15 minutes ago and some Babu-Indian voices snarled about my computer. I thought it sounded like a scam and hung up.
BREAKFAST
I arrived in sunshine and a bitter wind at 8.50am and was let in to sit until the opening at 9.00. The cafe was quickly filled by middle aged ‘real men’, all dressed in black with blokey laughes. I had my usual breakfast – this really is the highlight of my week – and I sorted my huge Telegraph; donating the vast collection of Festive Advertising.
After Alexander replied “shit” to my rent drama he told me that he was bankrupt after taking his harem to Australia and Turkey and that his Visa cards had been impounded by the bank.
I smile despite the knowledge that each hour might be my last after all.
£11
Mark Friday 20th November for a minute of silence. Warden Warren phoned the Town Hall at 8am today. He had closed his office door for privacy but the slut Donna came busting in at the important moment when Warren’s mobile phone said, “Tell Mr Laing he will get a letter dated 19th November and he should forget the others he received. There is a minor change of £11”.
I’d spent my downtown imagining suicide scenarios involving sitting on the floor of my shower in a warm rain of water, and cutting my carotid with my ceramic knife!
Tomorrow
At 8am tommorrow, Warden Warren and I are phoning the Town Hall. While listening to my OXFAM DVD of Tosca I was thinking; that If I’m homeless, I shall have to find a way of killing myself. I actually smiled at the thought! I give £8 a month to Shelter they might help…
ASDA?
I plan to wrap against the wind and take a tram to Asda this morning. I’ve no idea how much money is in my purse. I shall stop off at a cashpoint and check.
I managed to sleep last night.
The BBC utterly baffling this morning. Hundreds of police and troops at a siege in St.Denis. Lousy reporters at the scene giving no news stories of the scene. Equally weird was the Wembley footy game all tarted up in the French flag…
HOWLING BARNEY
Better news: I won £3.10 on the Euromillions. Let’s hope with my £200 WINTER FUEL allowance that it spares me eviction. Another tenant received a similar letter to mine, and then an apology.
Nothing on TV. “London Spy”on Monday was quite marvellous. I’ve watched first 3 episodes of “Looking” but the beefy bearded guys in it are not my thing. I’m far too ladylike to cope. I’m so thankful for the English for the Hearing impaired subtitles!
Must I abandon everything and go elsewhere? I need my NHS pills, so it must be somewhere with the NHS. But in winter? Brighton? I could so easily become insane…
Nails
I just paid Kelly the nailwoman £33.50 for her services and a manicure “set”. I’m shameless but I so wish a young man had knelt at my feet! My next session is on the 22nd December and only £20. Content.
I’ve spread my letter-news about and had kindly reactions so far. Alexander says he’s bankrupt! Oh dear. If I’m evicted I shall put everything I own in storage and simply catch a plane to Beziers! Or I might find a minimal 10ft by 10ft cabing and move there.
B126 DESK 10
I walked to Town Hall with asked for documents which they copied and entered into their “system”. At the library I had a meme moment with shitting oneself becoming a chocolate fountain event!
Home now out of drizzle and waiting for my nail woman to arrive at Noon.
Sleep
Sleep was impossible and I finally stopped reading at 4am. Will take steps to resolve the madness of my current situation at 9am.
SANITY TEETERS !
RBS says nothing has been paid by Alexander for months! Hmmm. A minutes silence at 11am? WTF? I visited Paul for my £10 haircut and watched a lady cut the hair of a sultry youth. The sheer power of hunk is amazing really.
At Fopp after my haircur I bought the first series of “Looking” on DVD at Fopp…
Rainy Rattlesnakes
Am I woefully unfeeling? Why does the Paris massacre leave me totally unmoved, despite the world lighting itself up in the Tricoleur! I imaginethat compared to the millions of refugees drowning it seems a petty event.
Who mentioned an over 50’s Aviva life insurance to me? I’ve been bombarded by sheets of A4 paper since I got RBS to fill the forms. The latest spate because my savings account refused the November DD. Meh! I’ve just replaced my landline phone after giving new details and a £20 payment to a woman who kept saying “oh kay”!
Young men in Market Street are drawn magnet-like to my side to beg me to change my electricity supply. I chat and move on. British Gas has served me well for 13 years.
I must dress and trudge to RBS and then to my barber Paul. It’s sunny here for a change. Ms GreyCloud has shuffled off elsewhere temporarily. Good…
RHAPSODIC>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Please humour me while I compose a paragraph of praise despite my usual default mode of kvetch! My weekly highlight is breakfast at the KofeePot in Oldham Street. I’ve just walked back from there after leaving not a crumb and relishing a mound of proper scrambled eggs and two slices of toasted buttered granary. My espresso as usual was served in a transparent shot-glass on a saucer with a teaspoon. It might sound odd, but it is made from first class beans!
The reason for my praise-song? Well, considering the utter rubbish I usually feed myself it’s heartening to find real cooking. The staff are all in their twenties as are most of the clients. There’s no chance of my meeting another 78 year old! The sound-system is tuned to a radio station with a nasal American/Canadian woman wittering on.
Contrast the above with the one and only Victoria Square breakfast I ate on Thursday at 10am (for the princely sum of £3.50p) which was accompanied by the yawping sounds of old women who pitch their voices in high panic-mode and squawk like heron-mothas defending their eggs from predators.
Last night the horizontal raindrops smashed against my window-panes, but at least the heating stayed on!
THIRTEENTH
I have a duffel-bag full of stuff to be washed, but I can’t face the thought of buying tokens and going to the laundry in this cold weather today.
LONDON SPY (MONDAY)
I sent an email to “Points of View” at the BBC, saying it was brilliant!
I watched my Oxfam DVD of “Aida” tonight and loved the horses and elephants in it. Marty’s letter had me poking around in the studio where I unearthed some written treasures…
A REAL LETTER!
I’ve received a letter from Marty with a stamp and writing too! I shall venture into the drift in the studio and try to find and sort my texts for this website.
THE END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT?
11:54am Thursday. I paid £3.50 to eat breakfast with the shouty senile Mancunians that inhabit the Dwellings. I left the mushrooms and the soggy whitebread toast.
At the bus-stop, there was a dwarf dumb woman with a five inch cig poking from her lips. On the Number 88 bus people were standing even though there were empty seats. Odd I thought.
I did not take my daily eleven morning pills.
Todays moan: the lift was out of order. The money machine at RBS was out of order. The Art Gallery cleaning woman was sitting like Cinders with her broom and bucket, but thumbing her mobile phone!
I called in at Forbidden Planet, thinking that I would surprise Marty with Lego Star Warsor a dust-catching Luke Skywalker retro model figure as a Hoggers gift, but both were far too expensive. Clearly I’m way, way out of the loop moneywise.
My new ALDI lumberjack shirt is warm and cheerful at least.
WEATHER?
The BBC weather-woman says a storm with a lady name is heading to Glasgow today and tomorrow! I hope that Marty has his emergency torch is to hand!
Sunshine just now. I’m off to eat breakfast downstairs for the first time since I moved here. I must also head to the library to return some DVDs.
Enduring
I endured the hours of darkness and woke feeling weirdly on the verge. Of what? Well. Queasy? Mental and physical unwellness. Too much heating? Or is it the “small aortic aneurism”and “cysts on your kidneys” that Dr Clode warned me about. Dear gods! In this whelter of red poppies and eleventh hours of the eleventh month, feeling sorry for myself is not the way to go!
Marty asked how I have coped with my solitude all these year. How? I keep smiling. It sounds ridiculous, but what I can only describe as small acts of love buoy me up. Like the young ALDI assistant yesterday who ran to fetch me a pack of ready-cooked rice and some green tea and smiled so charmingly when he arrived just in time at the check-out and handed them over. I have so many many reasons to be glad to be me!
The news that bacon and sausages cause bowel cancer and a ‘spare tyre’ causes early death is all grist to my mill. What I dread is homelessness…
TWO FAIRIES FOR A POUND !!!!!!!!!!!!!
The huge PoundShop is Market Street is closing so everything is 50% off. Crazy!
Delightful breakfast at Debenhams with charming waiter getting my usual espresso and asking if I wanted a lemon-slice in my tapwater!
UP AT SEVEN!
The heating halved at 10pm last night causing me to sneeze. In a rage at 5am I turned on my furnace heater and fell asleep warm to the sound of its fan.
It’s ALDI day today. My Fairy liquid was used up on Sunday so I have a sink full of unwashed stuff.
THE FISHING HAT
Just back from town which is roiling with obsese ladies! 88 bus down filled with yammering wimmin all at peak volume but so weirdly accented as to be unintelligible.
Boots’ glucosamine was £14! Went to SuperDrug instead and it was only £10. Burger King was visited for first time ever for their £1 burger offer !
Eight ALDI choc-ices were 69p.
DRAWN BEFORE TOWN BUS
The Debenhams waiterboys with caps perched on back of head…
TUESDAY
Shopping part 2 today. I collect the latest Jodowrowsky DVD from FOPP;
sneak a sly pack of ALDI choc-ices into my carrier and pay for another pack of Glucosamine tabs.
It’s grey day.
SNAP !
Walking back from the tram and wheeling my shopper in the drizzle, a wobbly drunk shouted “You’re the double of Corbyn”!
Cue my piercing scream!
LOOT!
ASDA was fine. £60 spent.
Cardiology emailed to say there are queues at the MRI. Lets hope my heart still ranks as that of a 42 year old.
Siesta mode now active.
JANUVIA + SITAGLIPTON
I’ve just read the terrifying packet note found in my new medication. Eek!
I shall microwave my Moroccan treat for 4 minutes regardless. Metro says that we should all be exercising more. My walking is quite enough, thank you.
BLOOMER?
Just back from frantic morning in the city!
Dr Clode sent an electronic prescription for an increased daily diabetic dose to Cohens Pharmacy instead of downstairs to Boots. Grrr. I must give blood to Lukas in 6 weeks…
Bite of breakast at M&S. An electronic table app, “scrambled eggs on bloomer”, I barked. White bread slice tweeny squeaked. Hmmmm.
Then to Fopp but Jodorowsky’s latest arrives Monday.
Rang Alan’s bell but there was no answer…
HKAPA CHINESE DANCING
Dr Clode and I are meeting at 10.20 this morning to ponder my diabetes 2! I had another dizzy spell coming out of Alchemist on Sunday though I expect that was due to the charming waiter attention rather than the fine half chicken!
I dipped into YouTube and searched “male contemporary dancing”. Such thrilling athleticism. This curiosity was prompted by my watching my DVD of Bourne’s all-male “Swan Lake”. Such ghastly vulgarity but redeemed by Adam Cooper.
I must zip into the shower. One never knows where Dr.Clode’s finger might probe…
TRIVIAL STUFF?
11:55 just back from chilly town. Swapped my button fly chinos for a gloriously soft pair and got £2 refund too :-)
My 10.30am visitor from M&S did not turn up! So much for pest calls !
FLIES
I didn’t check the flies of my latest Primark jean purchase and find that it has buttons there. Oh well, another walk and another customer service event.
A phonecall asked if a person could call to see me at 10.30am this morning. It involves M&S vouchers and an attempt to sell me a bed which contorts and changes shape. Fun!
TESTED
Tall Warren has just tested my pull cords! Such a very nice young man/warden…
RABBIT RABBIT
Just back from Primark where I exchanged the black cord pants I bought for a smaller pair. Nobody has 28 inch legs apart from me which is why my Scottish pupils called me ‘wee man’…
SUCH A PITY
Snowing heavily on the New Year lion-dance! I was warm in Alchemist eating Japanese Duck Ramen with broth served boiled in a glass flask thanks to nitrogen! HAHAHAHAHA
SEVEN DAYS LEFT…
…before February is finished! Hopefully the weather will be warmer.
OLD FOLKERY REPORTING
07:55am Saturday. I shall set off to Denbenhams for breakfast in an hour and then there’s a matinee of “Yen” at the Royal Exchange Theatre at 3.30pm, but do I really want to pay £10?
H O M E
Bangers and Mash at the Art Gallery for lunch, but nothing to celebrate the Chinese Sheep ’til Sunday…
ODDLY DISTURBING
Woke at 9:10am today to hammers pounding the landing edge, but I’m calm and rested after taking a group on a tour of my DN build of the Oceania Surf Club.
Nothing to see for my Cornerhouse matinee today apart from “Whiplash”. Hmmmmm. Ponder I shall. There’s also Chinese food in St.Anne’s Square; things to photograph in Chinatown, and Whitworth Galllery to be visited.
David Moss despite being to keen to see me after ten years was oddly distant… and fatter! His asian boyfriend looks like a Cambodian Bayon temple carving. No phone numbers were exchanged, but he’s living out of town while he hunts for work in Marketing and plans to get Giggs in central Manchester later.
MUST BUY……………
Had a super lunch at Alchemist. First, Haloulimi cheese strips wrapped in Filo pastry and fried with a rocket salad. Two mackerel fillets to follow with Israeli cous-cous, radishes and sauce tartare! All this while sipping a sparkling Belu water. Enchanting sockless waiter who said he’s also had desert picnic.
Of course Filo and large grain cous-cous will be on my shoppinglist tomorrow. My waiter suggested Tesco Metro…
I shall transfer £150 from my savings and telephone P.C.Callout ti remove my .INK plague!
NO PC SO….
Icon Madness
Every single icon on my desktop has had .Ink added to it. I tried the link Marty sent to try to fix but of course after downloading it I was told the application was not found. Grrrrrrrrrrr. I must wait two weeks before I can phone a man to come and look.
Here’s a comical fact: my left ball is bigger than my right one! Does that mean I must get a doctor to palpate me?
So glad GMAIL is still working though I suspect that .Ink is reading this as I type…
MY PC TAKEN OVER BY “INK”….
My PC has been unuseable since 05:43am! I cannot do a restore!
Aghast.
SURPRISINGLY CIVILISED (Love Is Strange)
A good script marred by TWO m*****f*****s! I found it really difficult to understand the American accents.
This scam letter greeted me on return.
VISION
I had a siesta dream in which Marty’s impending wedding featured on BBC3 as “Don’t Tell the Bridegroom”. There must be at least £12,000 in it for him.
ROGAN JOSH ?
Stewart Laing 